Gone From Here
by David Fraser
Summary: Sara receives some Heart-rending news...
Disclaimer: We own no part of CSI (Las Vegas) or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. No infringement of copyright is contemplated or intended. (No resemblance to anyone living, dead or undead is intended either).

Note: By its very nature Crossover Fanfic is AU, so please accept that this Universe does exist somewhere.

Timewise: Waaay past Chosen for BtVS, and current canon pairings for CSI never happened.

 **Gone From Here.**

It was 3:25 in the morning and the whole team was returning from a particularly bloody crimescene. The things they had seen that night weighed more than the equipment and samples they carried back to the lab and all of them were feeling weary and disgusted with their fellow human beings...

A passing lab tech interrupted their progress to pass on a message from the front desk. "Sara, you have a visitor, been waiting a few hours."

"Thanks, John." Looking at the cases she was carrying, she walked on and placed them both in one of the glass walled labs as the others followed her in; Nick and Warrick bringing up the rear. Glancing at her boss, Grissom, she took his small nod as permission and headed out front. "I'll be back in a minute."

The reception area was quiet at this time of the morning, and the only person waiting on a bench was a blonde woman.

The word 'Elegant' came to mind as Sara took in the white silk shirt, blue jeans and the Brantano's with 2inch heels. Meeting her eyes as she looked up from her contemplation of the pattern on the tiles at her feet as Sara appeared through the security doors, it was obvious she recognised her on sight, but it took a few moments for the reciprocal memory to surface from the CSI's subconscious.

They had never met, but as Sara remembered where she had seen her photo, a sense of impending dread began to gather beneath her heart.

The young woman stood up as Sara approached, and the shimmer of tears was obvious as they looked at each other; spilling over from her eyes as she breathed deep to gather her courage.

Her voice hesitant, she asked, "B-Buffy..?"

"Sara... I'm sorry. So very sorry."

She did not even realise her legs had given way until the pain of her knees striking the floor jarred the back of her head. No. This was not happening... The tight ball of denial ripped its way out of her mouth in a cry of agony, "Noooo..!"

The cry of anguish echoed throughout the lab, and Grissom and his team looked up in response. As a unit they dropped what they were doing and rushed towards the sound of one of their own in obvious distress.

The scene of utter emotional devastation that greeted them stopped them in their tracks. Unable to even move for a moment as they watched the usually stoic Sara Sidle lie curled up in the arms of a small blonde woman as she cried her eyes out; her howls of pain now reduced to moans of loss as she was rocked back and forth in the slim arms holding her tight.

The blonde looked up at the sudden influx of new people, her eyes locking with Grissom as he moved forward, the others holding back momentarily. "You her boss?"

"Yes."

She shifted her stance slightly from where she was, her arms snaking under Sara's legs and around her back. Showing no effort when she stood up, the much larger woman held easily in her arms, she asked, "Somewhere quiet we can go, out of the public eye?"

Ignoring the obvious anomalous strength on display, Grissom held open the security door behind him. "My office has a couch, we can put her there for the moment."

"My name is Buffy Summers." She looked at the others waiting with Grissom, taking them for friends of the woman who was now quiet in her arms. Gesturing to the bench where she had been sitting, "Could one of you grab my carry-all and jacket, it's got my ID and stuff."

Following Grissom as he made his way through to his office, she ignored the few people watching their progress from the glass walled cubicle's around them. Laying the dark haired woman on a couch as the older man switched off the harsh overhead lights and switched on a small lamp on the desk, she turned the blinds on the windows to leave the office in a much gentler glow.

Sitting behind his desk, he contemplated the young woman who now settled herself on his couch, Sara's head in her lap as she gently stroked her hair. "What did you say to her?"

She lay her head back, looking up at the ceiling for a moment. "Nothing. I didn't get much of a chance. She just knew... Knew it was bad news." Looking down at the woman beside her, only now becoming conscious of what her fingers were doing; her actions, if anything, becoming even more gentle. She looked back at him. "Very bad news."

She nodded in thanks as a tall black man dropped her bag at the end of the couch, handing her jacket over. Reaching into an inside pocket, she removed a wallet and tossed it to Grissom.

Caught in automatic reflex, he opened it to study the ID inside.

He'd heard of them, but never actually seen one before. The left panel held the holographic image of a blindfolded woman holding a set of scales, and as he shifted his hand slightly it shimmered into the picture of the young woman before him; holding a bloody sword. The right hand panel held two conventional i.d. photos of her; both recent by the looks of them: one black and white and one color. There was also a name: Summers, Buffy A., and a long barcode available for scanning. The center panel held a shield in some metal he could not immediately identify; a small representation of an Chaos Angel at the honor point, with the motto 'fiat justitia' above, and 'ruat caelum' below.

He passed the wallet off to Catherine as she leaned over his shoulder for a look. "Rather a harsh edict, don't you think?"

As his team passed round her ID, he didn't think any of them noticed what he did; as she let a little of what she was into her eyes. Her reply was a simple, "No."

A moan from Sara focused all their eyes on their colleague as she attempted to sit up; her attention not yet really focused on her surroundings as Catherine sat beside her; placing her arm across her shoulders to hold her upright. Looking round at her team as they gathered about her, sympathy evident on their faces, a hand came up to press against her mouth as she remembered what was happening.

Her involuntary convulsive movement brought a metal wastebasket into her hands from the figure to her left and she heaved violently. Nothing came up, but her mouth filled with bitter tasting saliva, which she spat out. Ignoring the voices around her for the moment, she turned to the blonde woman beside her. "She's gone? Truly gone?"

The face before her was still now; giving nothing away as she answered. "Yes."

Sara's voice was harsh as she shook off Catherine's comforting presence. "Tell me. Tell me everything!"

Buffy looked round the room, considering the others who were present. Turning back to Sara, she asked, "Are you solid?"

Sara flinched at the question, knowing she was asking if she was ready for this. "Yes."

Buffy leaned against the back of the couch, her palms covering her eyes for a moment as she raked her hands back through her hair. "I can't tell you where." She stopped at Sara's sound of protest. "No! Not here, not now." Looking at the figures gathered round, interest in all their faces, she continued, "I'll tell you later, when we're alone. If you want to tell your friends afterwards, that's up to you."

Pausing for a moment to gather herself, she continued, "We hadn't seen much of each other for a while; just the occasional 'ships passing in the night' thing, but we met up about a month ago. Both in the same city; no hint of anything big going down, so we decided to get some synchronised S and D in." She smiled, "Something we hadn't done since we were crazy teenagers; all wild and woolly."

Her face more somber, she continued, "We started to pick up rumors of a cult sacrifice; you know, the usual blood and doom thing, but we went to check it out anyway. The local team was out of town, so we split up to check various locations. She found them first, and called me for backup. Thing is, we didn't realise that everything was time-critical and it started to happen before I could get there."

Turning to Sara again, she reached for her hands to clasp as she continued, "She made a choice: one we will all have to make when the moment arrives. She went in by herself." She took a deep breath to center herself, so that she could carry on. "I got there just as it was all finished with. There was nothing I could do, but... Sara? You should be so proud of her. She protected those kids. Three young girls, aged 3, 5 and 7-years old, and they all got to go home to their families and live their lives because our friend decided that they deserved the chance."

She gathered Sara into her arms once more as she collapsed into tears, letting her own fall free as she hugged the taller woman, both of them taking no notice of the others as they left the softly lit office so that they could be alone; as they shared their grief.

"Sara..?"

Reluctantly letting the smaller woman free from her arms, Sara looked into the reddened eyes which reflected her own pain. "Hmm?"

"You know the Council policy on remains... That we have to be cremated immediately. I'm sorry that you couldn't be there, but she left instructions in the event that... Well, in the event that what happened, happened."

"Instructions..?"

"Yes. She wanted us to ask that you scatter her ashes where she first met you. And... She never actually told us where you two first met." Buffy laughed softly, "She always got this little smile on her face; you know how her dimples would appear, but she would never actually tell us, no matter how much we'd bug her about it... And, well, some of us want to be there, if you wouldn't mind."

-ooOOoo-

Almost 350miles to the North-East of Las Vegas; as the crow flies, Canyonlands National Park was merging from beautiful to awe-inspiring as the early morning Sun reluctantly released its last tenuous connection to the horizon in the East. The landscape became a mosaic of orange, burnt umber and raw gold as shadows shifted in the rapidly changing light and the small group of people at the edge of the drop into the canyon below stood rapt.

The memory as bright as the moment it was created, Sara almost expected to see a leather-clad arm appear, followed by a messy length of long brown hair as the figure hauled itself up and over the edge to flop down at her feet. Taking in the form dressed in a white tee, leather pants and heavy boots, she'd quickly realised that the woman must have indulged herself with a bit of free-climbing up the 200foot cliff in front of her. Sara had exclaimed loudly, "Are you crazy!?"

Getting to her feet the woman, young girl, had smiled at Sara, stretched her arms over her head, and replied, "What a rush..." Raking her gaze down and back up Sara's body, she'd started to flirt outrageously, trying to get a rise out of Sara; rolling right over any objections offered in defense.

It had taken a while, but Sara soon found that the rough and tumble attitude had actually hidden a wicked sense of humor, and she had found herself with an unexpected friend who'd call her up whenever she passed through Las Vegas... Sara could find herself anywhere from a poetry reading to the State Rodeo Championship...

And then there had been the day that Faith had explained to her how the world really worked...

Now she was here again, preparing to carry out Faith's last wish.

Catherine and Grissom had accompanied Sara from Las Vegas and now stood behind to her left, the others to her right. Buffy stood beside her. Next to Buffy was her sister Dawn, with 3year old daughter clinging to her hip; arms around mom's neck.

The young girl, introduced as Tara, but whom everybody seemed to call TJ, had almost unknowingly shattered Sara's reserve when they had all met up in Moab yesterday afternoon; innocently asking, was 'Auntie Fai' here?

Fleeing to her room, Sara had buried her face in her pillow, not acknowledging Buffy as she came in 10minutes later.

The tentative voice and a gentle touch on her hip had turned Sara at last to face the blonde, her eyes drawn to the simple clay urn she held in her hands. She hadn't realised she was reaching until Buffy handed it over and she clasped it beneath her breast... Then Buffy had told her what Faith had said at the end, what she had asked her to convey.

After Buffy had left, Sara had sat on the bed, not thinking at all as she had curled round the object in her arms... Coming back to herself suddenly, she had got up and gone over to her jacket hanging over the back of a chair. Taking out her wallet, she'd removed the black and white photo from an inner sleeve, gazing at it for a moment before turning it over and writing on the back. The words were simple, but said everything she wanted to at that moment...

 _ **There are no more tears to fall.**_

 _ **There will be no more laughter...**_

 _ **No more love...**_

 _ **My Soul has been sundered...**_

 _ **My Heart ripped out.**_

 _ **Why am I still breathing?**_

As Sara caressed the urn for one last time, she stepped forward carefully. Removing the lid, she didn't hesitate at all... As the ashes blew away in a sudden breeze, she could swear that she smelled the sudden tang of leather and smoke, heard a sultry laugh in her ear.

 **The End.**

'fiat justicia, ruat caelum' - let justice be done, though the heavens should fall.


End file.
